It really is an interesting concept, to find your own support team and income. It’s not easy, but I do see the value and heart behind the way YWAMers have done it all these years. I have already had such a variety of responses, to the way I am living, ranging from super supportive to border line appalled. The idea isn’t an easy one for everyone to fully understand, but at the end of the day, that’s okay with me. Why? Because at the end of the day, I am confident in the path I am walking down and I know that the Lord will come through. Having said that, with every new thing, it’s a given, that it takes time to learn. Along the way, there are some things we do right, and some things that we do wrong and as I enter a new season, a whole new way of life, I am already learning so much.
The fundraising has officially begun and I have my first fundraiser behind me! This past Sunday, I had the opportunity to share a few words about my YWAM experience at my own, home church, and following the service, I was able to hold a Bake Sale. It all came together, but the lead up to this Sunday (including the entire morning!) was anything but rainbows and butterflies.
Over time and with experience, I have almost completely gotten over my fear to speak in front of a crowd; but suddenly I found myself whacked with complete panic, doubt and fear as I tried to spit out a short and sweet summary of my past 6 months and future plans. The enemy made his place and had me pretty convinced that I was failing. I felt like it was the wrong time, that I had used all the wrong words, that I was unclear, incapable and hadn’t really grown much at all. I felt like I was the same scared and timid girl as before I left and that I was a fool for thinking I had changed or grown at all, ready for this next step. I felt uncomfortably vulnerable and embarrassed. I began to worry about the whole idea of moving and if it would come together.
It amazes me how with a whisper, the enemy consumes our thoughts, even when God’s love is roaring. I mean, I have had nothing but every assurance that God is for me and yet, I was so quick to turn from His voice and let the enemy speak. Thankfully, God doesn’t just turn His back on us and let Satan have His way, even when we leave the door open. Instead, He constantly reminds us of His love, power and faithfulness.
The lie I started to believe in all this, is that my words matter- No, I don’t mean that the words that come out of my mouth are pointless- What I mean is, God’s goodness isn’t reliant on them. Not on my words, or anything that I do. The truth is, I speak and act because God asks. Period. Completely against everything the world teaches, my performance doesn’t necessarily change the outcome. My job isn’t to persuade or convince anyone to give to this cause. My job isn’t to defend myself or to justify what I am doing. My job is to aligning myself with God and do as He asks of me. The rest is up to Him! (& Thank God for that!)
“For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” -Matthew 11:30
So, recognizing that, it makes sense -but still completely blows me away- that the Bake Sale was a complete and total success after all! I was able to raise way more than I ever imagined as well as add to my list of monthly supporters! Thank you to everyone who came out and for all your generous donations- The ball is rolling!
Here are a few pictures of the baked treats and amazing ladies behind the table!
Photo Credit: Faith Choi